My head is throbbing. I don’t know what the deal is but I seriously feel as though the entire thing is about to explode.

My head is throbbing. I don’t know what the deal is but I seriously feel as though the entire thing is about to explode.

Weekend Plans

Yes, I know that it’s only Tuesday, but I’m getting excited! On Thursday afternoon, I leave for a weekend in San Antonio!!

On Friday morning, I will be going to register my car in Guadalupe County (hey! according to my drivers license I still live there, so THERE!), and then will be doing some training in MHI’s Home Office. Saturday late morning, I will be picking my coworkers Pam and Lisa up from the San Antonio airport and taking them to their hotel. We plan on going to do a little shopping. At 6:00 Saturday night, our first company Christmas party begins, and with such, begins a long night of fun.

Sunday morning, I will be attending Redeemer (YAY!) and will likely have lunch with a ton of friends that afternoon. I’ll probably head back to Dallas around 4 or 5 on Sunday evening. I am thrilled!

In Other News,

My 40 days of dotnet fasting will come to an end on Wednesday. I miss those folks!

Protected: PTS: Post-Thanksgiving Stress

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Zach Braff

I love Scrubs… Right now I’m watching Season 1 & 2 on DVD, and I’ve been thoroughly entertained.

So, I always assumed that Zach Braff just played a complete dork on Scrubs. He does. But what I didn’t realize is that it isn’t too far from reality. I’ve been reading his blog since Garden State came out, and it’s been quite entertaining, but recently, I discovered his latest post is a video post… Zach Braff is, in fact, a dork… which really adds to his attractiveness. Go check it out!

Bah-Humbug!

I’m not particularly a Christmas person. All of my friends can attest to it. But, man oh man, do I love gatherings with friends! Love, love LOVE IT! And so I partake in the holiday ‘cheer’ just so I can be around all those I love most. So come and see me. I demand it.

And, just for the record, I bought Christmas cards today.

Protected: “You touched my hand, Chuck, you sly dog.”

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Single-Minded

Just yesterday, I had to say goodbye to the idea that I’d found ‘the one’, although he didn’t know it yet. That sounds silly, but in all honesty, I was convinced that we were just friends for now, but that eventually he would realize what a great thing he was missing and declare his undying love for me. And after a deep discussion on the ever-present Arminian/Calvinist debate, I had the epiphany that he is not ‘the one’ and that it’s time I stop trying to make it so. This hurt to even think, much less admit out loud to the man in question.

Over and over again, I find myself questioning why I am single when I want so desperately to be married. Foolishly, I ask myself, why does He say “ask and you will receive” when this is obviously not the case? I mean, afterall, I’m not asking Him for something that is wrong – I’m asking to live in an institution that God Himself created.

I soon snap out of it and realize that there is more than one problem with my thinking here. The first is my question about unanswered prayer, and I have to say that better theological minds than mine have wrestled with this question and I’m not going to pretend I know the answer in its entirety. But in a sense, all prayers are actually answered–God is not ignoring us. Either the answer is yes, no, or wait, but we don’t always know which is the correct answer until it unfolds in our lives. All I know is that the Lord solved my greatest dilemma–His judgment of my sin and His righteous condemnation–through His own sacrifice on my behalf. Because of that, I know I am His beloved. Though there are times when I don’t understand why I have these seemingly unanswered desires, I do remind myself occasionally that my life is not my own. I have been purchased by His blood and I am His. So the overarching question in my life is, in light of what He did for me on Calvary, is my life my own to command? No. Instead, I must ask myself, “Whose am I?” The answer is: The Lord’s. As such, He is free to use me however He pleases for His glory. But His glory is always for my good. So there’s no contradiction there. It feels like a contradiction in this fallen world, but that’s only my present experience–an experience shaped by my idolatrous desires, the oppression of my spiritual enemy, the pressure of this world that wants me to be conformed to it and not to my Savior. In time, I will come to see why His answer of “wait” or even “no” was the best one possible.

The second is the question of my purpose in life, which, if you read here often, you know comes up more often than not. It is obvious when I wrestle with questions such as this that I don’t trust God to just be God. You might have noticed that some of my topic headings have changed with this post… my new “God” post title is, “I gave in and admitted that God was God.” It’s a quote by C.S. Lewis that seems to apply to just about everything in life. God is. He knows. He orchestrates. He disciplines. He loves. And all the while, I just don’t get it. I am so selfish and self-centered that when God is just God and my pea-brain can’t process His purpose, I throw temper tantrums about how my life sucks. Oh me of little faith.

It sure is a good thing that He is in control of my life. What a train wreck I’d make of it otherwise!

Simple

You’re such a poet
I wish I could be Wesley Willis
My words would flow like honey
Sweet and laid on thick
You’re so edgy
You don’t even need a rhyming dictionary
I wipe my hands on your jeans
Cause they are more distressed
So they say you’ve got a CD
And they claim you can barely read
But you say don’t bother me with all of your reality

But it could be so simple
(you were thinking)
Life should be that simple
(Who would have thought it)
I wish it were just so simple
(don’t know what you were thinking)
But the point’s been missed
You’ve made a mess
Who would have guessed
That it’s as simple as it seems

So what, you’re a genius
But you’ve got a lot to learn
Like the time you lost your apartment
Cause you bought too much Vuitton
You park in a loading zone
You sleep with the lights all on
You cross your i’s and dot your t’s
All it goes to show

That it could be so simple
(you were thinking)
Life should be that simple
(Who would have thought it)
I wish it were just that simple
(don’t know what you were thinking)
The point’s been missed
We’ve made a mess
Who would have guessed
That it’s as simple as it seems

I’m not saying that it’s a piece of cake
Just take a moment to reevaluate
The possibilities
The situations
The opportunities
That are waiting
Oh, the possibilities
Oh, I

It could, it could be that simple
(you were thinking)
Life should be that simple
(Who would have thought it)
I wish it were just so simple
(don’t know what you were thinking)
You’re in a haze
It’s just a phase
You know this maze
Is as simple as it seems

We could talk all day
About your eccentricities
What I mean to say
Oh, is that I need you listen please
And focus on life’s simplicities
So don’t be afraid to strip it away
Cause at the end of the day
It’s still as simple as it seems

It is all so simple
Just deal with it