Devine Relaxation

So, I won a gift certificate for a day at the spa a little while back.  I decided to use it yesterday.  Immediately after church ended, I hopped into my little car and booked it for Spa Pangea, where I embarked on what may be the most physically and mentally incredible day I have ever experienced.

Before I begin, let me first say that spas are for skinny people.  The fact that the largest robe they offered did not fit annoyed me.  I ended up wearing my pants beneath my robe the entire day, which was a bit embarassing and slightly took away from the experience.  This, however, was the only setback.

First, I enjoyed an amazing spice-rubbed salmon filet: pan-seared on herbed couscous with cucumber-tomato relish.  This, paired with the most amazing piece of java cake I’ve ever tasted  nearly brought me to tears.  The iced tea was good too!

Next, I was ushered into a small, peacefully dark room where, for the next sixty minutes, I enjoyed a deep tissue massage.  She focused on realigning deeper layers of muscles and connective tissue.  This massage was especially helpful for the tightness in my lower back and sore shoulders.  She placed warm towels that smelled of lavender on my face as she worked the tension out of me.  It was a bit sore afterward, but I felt like a wet noodle– in the good way!

The next phase was somewhat uncomfortable at first, but I lived through it in ecstacy!  I enjoyed an awesome body scrub… and I do mean all of my body.  It was… revealing… but my skin felt amazing afterward! Next, I was off down the corridor to enjoy a facial.  Finally, the rough, dry spots on my face were gone! Finally, I enjoyed a peppermint pedicure, and another glass of iced tea.

I joked with Keely that if I had to choose between experiencing a day like this every month for the rest of my life and ever having sex again, I’d choose the spa.  It was absolutely incredible.

Too bad I’m not rich.  This would be my favorite part!

Of Kirk and Nancy

So, my friend Kirk is a staunch conservative. I both love and hate him for that, depending on the day. Here’s a great blog post he shared today that I wanted to pass along.

Dinner and a Movie with Moby and Nancy Pelosi

Soooo last night was one of my more surreal experiences in Washington, DC. More surreal than my picture with Chloe from 24, even.

My friend Russ and I were invited by my new friend Mike Allen, White House correspondent for Time Magazine (many thanks to Deckard for the introduction!) to the Premiere of HBO’s new documentary on evangelicals and politics by Alexandra Pelosi, daughter of Speaker Nancy Pelosi at Washington’s Ritz Carlton hotel (and yes, the food was amazing too).

http://www.hbo.com/docs/programs/friends_of_god/index.html.

The room was filled with liberal Washington icons — Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Massachussetts congressman Ed Markey, TV commentator Al Hunt, MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, liberal musician Moby, about 200 other Democrats, and about 5 of us evangelicals. Since Mike knows and is loved by everyone who is anyone in Washington, and is himself an evangelical, Alexandra, and many of her guests took a great interest to our thoughts about her new film. Without hesitation, I would recommend all evangelicals see this documentary.

Alexandra is most famous for her documentary, for which she won an Emmy, showing the very human side of President Bush from the 2000 campaign called “Journeys with George”, which I understand the President himself enjoyed. So despite her being the daughter of a liberal San Francisco Speaker of the House, she has demonstrated a commitment to fairness. I anticipate there will be a lot of criticism from the evangelical community on her new movie, and I don’t think it will be entirely fair.

The film was completed just days before Ted Haggard’s (former President of the National Association of Evangelicals) tacit confession that he’d had an affair with a gay prostitute. Unfortunately for evangelicals, he serves as Alexandra’s tour guide through evangelicalism. This is especially painful during one segment where Haggard brags, very explicitly, about how great his sex life is as an evangelical. Also highlighted prominently are Joel Osteen and Jerry Falwell, as well as a number of “Christian subculture” organizations about which many of us would ask, “Does evangelicalism really need our own?” (Christian Wrestling Federation, for example).

She takes us to Osteen’s 36,000-in-weekly-attendance church service in Houston, and then on to Ted Haggard’s own megachurch in Colorado Springs, where he is giving media training to his congregation (“Don’t be weird,” he instructs them, advice which many of us would say he failed to follow himself!). We met the Cruisers for Christ (an antique car group), found a drive-through church in Richmond, and explored the Holy Land Experience in Orlando — think of it as 1st Century Disney-Jerusalem (Jesus was looking quite WASPish). We observed a children’s anti-evolution conference with Ken Ham of Answers in Genesis, saw Ron Luce rocking his Teen Mania “battlecry” youth meetings, and played Biblical mini-golf. And we can’t forget the truly-funny Christian comedian who does a great impression of Dennis Leary (sans smokes, but just as faux-angry) and the homeschooling Mennonite Tennessee family of 12 (where all the girls wear matching burqa-replicate dresses, of course).

So if you are like me, you cringed through most of that summary. Granted, most of those folks are not who I would have chosen as the spokesmen for Evangelicalism. They were probably more representative of the Pentecostal/fundamentalist strain of evangelicalism that has its own TV networks; but that IS representative of a large segment of our brothers and sisters. And much of what was said I found myself praising God for, even while those things got a few snickers from the left-leaning premiere audience. We were presented as passionate about the right to life. Ted Haggard rightly identified us as believing in the Bible and the need to be born again to be saved from God’s judgment. And we looked like the very joyful group of people that we should be, something that Alexandra took notice of.

The people who were featured in this film will absolutely feel like they were presented fairly and accurately (with the possible exception of a few cut-aways to a near-snarling Jerry Falwell). So in that sense, Alexandra Pelosi’s film is very fair, and I really believe that she wanted to present us in the best light possible.

It would only be unfair if this is characterized as representative of all of evangelicalism. Our conversation with Alexandra following the film, where she listened eagerly to our perspectives, demonstrated to me how fair-minded and serious a documentarian she really is. She agreed with many of the points made in the documentary about the double-standards that evangelicals are treated to by so-called tolerant liberals. I hope to have the chance to share with her how, specifically, there is diversity within evangelicalism, that may not have been represented in the film, through no malintent on her part. She was surprised that Russ, a very informed evangelical, didn’t know the names of most of the people in the film, and her comment to the NY Times about her experience was quite telling to me:

”I believe in the culture war,” she said. ”And you know what? If I have to take a side in the culture war I’ll take their side,” meaning the Christian conservatives. ”Because if you give me the choice of Paris Hilton or Jesus, I’ll take Jesus.”

Amen to that. This tells me that our brothers and sisters she interacted with, although some a little odd for our tastes, represented Christ in a way that brings glory to God. And we can be grateful for that.

I won!

At about 4:30 this afternoon, I received a call from the local Top 40 radio station informing me that I won an iPod, lunch, and a spa package (I think… that part wasn’t very clear), AND I’ll be on the radio, talking about some songs I chose to be played.  So if you wanna hear me on the radio, you can listen to 106.1 KissFM in Dallas, or online around noon tomorrow.

My Favorite Sort of Day

Despite the fact that my boss is out still, due to a death in the family and the lack of flights coming into Dallas, because it has been raining ice, and despite the fact that I’m at work, today is my favorite sort of day.

It’s very cold outside.  It’s 26 degrees, a bit icy (sleety, snowy), but the sun is shining proudly and beautifully through the clouds.  On days like these, the sun doesn’t melt the ice or warm the air above freezing… it simply makes for a spectactular viewing of God’s creation during the dormant time of year.

I love to bundle up and take walks through parks on days like these.  I get to wear my scarf and gloves.. maybe even a tobogan!  I enjoy the cool air hitting my face and the way that my hair feels in the wind.  I am in love with nature.

Yeah, today is my favorite sort of day.

A little Shel for your morning.

My friend Michelle reminded me of this poem today… It’s kind of about me…

Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout
Would not take the garbage out!
She’d scour the pots and scrape the pans,
Candy the yams and spice the hams,
And though her daddy would scream and shout,
She simply would not take the garbage out.
And so it piled up to the ceilings:
Coffee grounds, potato peelings,
Brown Bananas, rotten peas,
Chunks of sour cottage cheese.
It filled the can, it covered the floor,
It cracked the window and blocked the door
With bacon rinds and chicken bones,
Drippy ends of ice cream cones,
Prune pits, peach pits, orange peel,
Gloppy glumps of cold oatmeal,
Pizza crusts and withered greens,
Soggy beans and tangerines,
Crusts of black burned buttered toast,
Grisly bits of beefy roasts…
The garbage rolled down the hall,
It raised the roof, it broke the wall…
Greasy napkins, cookie crumbs,
Globs of gooey bubble gum,
Cellophane from green baloney,
Rubbery blubbery macaroni,
Peanut butter, caked and dry,
Curdled milk and crusts of pie,
Moldy melons, dried-up mustard,
Eggshells mixed with lemon custard,
Cold french fries and rancid meat,
Yellow lumps of Cream of Wheat.
At last the garbage reached so high
That finally it touched the sky.
And all the neighbors moved away,
And none of her friends would come to play.
And finally Sarah Cynthia Slylvia Stout said,
“Ok, I’ll take the garbage out!”
But then, of course, it was too late…
The garbage reached across the state,
From New York to the Golden Gate.
And there, in the garbage she did hate,
Poor Sarah met an awful fate,
That I cannot right now relate
Because the hour is much too late.
But children, remember Sarah Stout
And always take the garbage out!

-Shel Silverstein

New Years Resolutions, Part 2

This is my only other resolution, and it’s ok if you think I’m nuts, because I fully acknowledge my nuts-ness on this one. Beginning tonight, I’m going to start training for the White Rock Marathon. That’s right. I have 337 days, 8,109 hours, 486,554 minutes, and 29,193,245 seconds to prepare to run 26.2 miles around White Rock Lake here in Dallas. I’m actually really excited about it right now, too. Willie might not be so excited when we start going the long distances, though.

So who wants to train with me? Who will keep me accountable (even if you don’t train with me)?

Check out my marathon blog at http://destinationmarathon.wordpress.com/

Saddam & Getting What We Deserve

Saddam Hussein was hanged last week. The man upon whom the world’s peoples have cast so much abhorrence and disdain for the better part of the last twenty years is dead. The biggest part of me says that he deserved to die for his crimes against humanity. He deserved to be buried alive in the hole in which they found him.

But another still small voice in me says that the manner in which this horrible man died was wrong. He was taunted and hung mid-prayer.. in a way that even the less-than-merciful State of Texas would have allowed. Someone recorded his demise on a cell phone and distributed it for the world to see.

This small part of me is angry with our President, who before the video surfaced, praised the Iraqi government for a fair trial and execution. He so often speaks too soon– as though he is anxious for the issue to go away, before any discussion comes up. I hate that the President that I voted for is succoming to politicking, rather than dealing with issues as they come.

Don’t get me wrong… I am not saying this man did not deserve to die. I am saying that some grace and mercy may have been due, however. Should we have kept him alive? Probably not. But a private and dignified death may have been the better thing to do, rather than allowing the mocking and harrassing to occur.

Did he deserve dignity? Did he give it to any of his own victims? No. But then again, do I deserve dignity or grace or mercy? Do I show it to others? No. And yet I have a Savior Who grants it anyway.

So maybe my feelings about this situation aren’t really political in nature, but have me feeling unsure because I know what I deserve in my own life and it’s scary to think what I am due.

Saddam & Getting What We Deserve

Saddam Hussein was hanged last week. The man upon whom the world’s peoples have cast so much abhorrence and disdain for the better part of the last twenty years is dead. The biggest part of me says that he deserved to die for his crimes against humanity. He deserved to be buried alive in the hole in which they found him.

But another still small voice in me says that the manner in which this horrible man died was wrong. He was taunted and hung mid-prayer.. in a way that even the less-than-merciful State of Texas would have allowed. Someone recorded his demise on a cell phone and distributed it for the world to see.

This small part of me is angry with our President, who before the video surfaced, praised the Iraqi government for a fair trial and execution. He so often speaks too soon– as though he is anxious for the issue to go away, before any discussion comes up. I hate that the President that I voted for is succoming to politicking, rather than dealing with issues as they come.

Don’t get me wrong… I am not saying this man did not deserve to die. I am saying that some grace and mercy may have been due, however. Should we have kept him alive? Probably not. But a private and dignified death may have been the better thing to do, rather than allowing the mocking and harrassing to occur.

Did he deserve dignity? Did he give it to any of his own victims? No. But then again, do I deserve dignity or grace or mercy? Do I show it to others? No. And yet I have a Savior Who grants it anyway.

So maybe my feelings about this situation aren’t really political in nature, but have me feeling unsure because I know what I deserve in my own life and it’s scary to think what I am due.

What we do is as much a part of what we have to give as what we have in the bank.

An acquaintance of mine, Shaun, shared this blog with his readers recently, and I was inspired by it. I pray this for my church, Providence Church.

A friend of mine called months ago needing help. His father-in-law had been robbed and beaten and needed to see an orthopedist and an ophthalmologist soon. His eye socket was fractured along with his thumb. He was in some pain with no insurance and not enough money to get the care he needed.

What would you do if you got that call from a friend? I called my church. I spoke to two staff members. I explained the situation and asked if they could give me the names and numbers of any doctors who are members of our church and might be willing to help out. I asked for any ideas on how we could help my friend. Both told me about a state run program in Tennessee. “Our benevolence fund is empty but maybe TennCare can help,” one said.

Of course I wasn’t asking for money. I was asking the church to call on it’s members for a little help showing mercy. That’s our job, I figure, not the governor’s. I hung up and tracked down two doctors in our church on my own. I told them I needed their help and couldn’t pay them much. I set up the appointments and my friend’s father-in-law was treated at no charge.

The whole situation left me inspired and deeply frustrated. Our church is large: 5000 members and growing. Our weekly offering hovers around $90,000. Weekly.

I know almost every member of our staff, having worked at the church for a stretch twice in the last ten years. I know them all to love God and love people – it’s printed everywhere you look around the place: “Love God. Love People.” They’ve loved me well for along long time. And I’ve seen them love just about every kind of person imaginable, anyone who comes in the door.

Truth is our church gives tens of thousands of dollars annually to various causes and crises. Haven’t they done enough? Can they be expected to help me take care of people like my friend and his father-in-law too? I think so. I think that’s what the church in Jerusalem – the one we’re told about in the book of Acts – would do.

But before we can do that – I think – we have to do at least two things… 1. Abandon the idea of a tithe. It’s not a New Testament church concept. It’s not a bad idea, but an idea that had it’s use once upon a time – and that time is over. What replaces the tithe in the New Testament is the idea of Jubilee – give and give and give until all are taken care of. Give until we can say, as the Jerusalem Christians could, that none has a need among us.

2. Make membership meaningful by raising expectations. At my church, and at so many others, I signed a membership agreement of sorts – what we could call a covenant. It bullet points a few of the things I as a member promise to do and be in order to live as a functioning appendage in what we call the “Body.” Things like, not be divisive but seek unity instead, discover what my passions and abilities are and put them to work in the church and the community by serving in some capacity, be part of a small bible study group where I can have my name and my life known to others, etc. And give.

Thing is, no one’s ever asked how I’m doing at keeping that promise. No one’s calling me when I slack off. I know “they” care about me but part of caring, don’t you think, is correcting – expecting certain things out of me and lovingly reminding me of the promises I make?

3. Expand our concept of giving beyond finances to professions and time. I met a doctor on the road who gives 2% of his time and resources to patients who cannot pay him. He swears that if every Christian doctor in America did the same thing he’s done for years, well, the church would replace Medicare in a hurry. He’s giving his job, not just his income. Barnabus, again in Acts, is described as a man who sold his land and gave the money to the poor via the church. Some say he was in the land business, that buying and selling land was his trade. It could be that his story isn’t about a guy giving money, but a guy giving his a sizable piece of his business.

A Sunday school teacher gave me a job I was terrible at and unqualified for because I needed it years ago. My mother could retire but spends her day instead playing with and being a grandmother to disabled children. My oldest daughter learning how to knit scarves so she can clothe the cold in Nashville. What we do is as much a part of what we have to give as what we have in the bank.

My church is the closest thing to perfect I’ve ever been part of. But it’s still hasn’t arrived. And it knows this. But regardless, it’s no less disappointing to me that it’s members are not at the ready when someone needs them – when my friend and I needed them. But what can be done about that? How do you connect Christians with needs if the local church isn’t in that business anymore? I’ve got this dream…

I’m in San Antonio!

It’s New Year’s Day 2007. I’m sitting in a peacefully quiet home in San Antonio belonging to the family Calhoun, anxiously waiting for my mother’s call so that we can meet for a day of shopping.

Willie’s been taken outside, and I have to say– he’s very nervous about this whole “back yard” idea. He basically insists that I walk out there with him, as though he were on a leash… Not the freedom I’d imagined. He has been exhausted by the activity in this new atmosphere, and is now snoring at my feet, curled sweetly into a little crescent. He and Princess (the beagle) just ignore one another… the newness has worn off. But when Lilly (the pug puppy) shows up, it’s on. Lilly is a little big for her britches, not that it matters in Willie’s case. He cowers and submits immediately as usual. Lilly jumps and bites and growls and challenges– all in good fun–well, for her anyway. Yesterday, we went to Landa Park to share a picnic and to play a little. He very much enjoyed that outting, despite being tangled up in Princess’ and Lilly’s leashes 75% of the time.

Yesterday was a day of rollercoastering. I’m so excited to be in San Antonio– the place I refer to as “back home” these days. I love so much about the city– the diversity, the people… Somewhere along the way, San Antonio replaced Odessa as that place where I’d love to raise my family. It’s the place I’d like to retire and live and be at home, when all is said and done. We’ll see what God thinks of that when the time comes. For now, it seems, I am in Dallas. I have a good job, a good church, and amazing friends there (not taking away from the amazing ones in SA, mind you).

I’d had some concerns with my bank account as I examined it Saturday night, but on Sunday morning, a quick call to the automated system revealed that I had a lot of available money- more than expected! So I took advantage by taking Willie to be groomed and my car to be lubed. I went to pull out money for my rent, and sadly, I found that my account is again, very screwed up. Thankfully, though, there will be a couple of deposits coming in in the next couple of days which will make things better… I hope.

Last night, Katie, Dave & I embarked on a mission to celebrate New Year’s Eve. Originally, it was going to be low-key, and we were just going to make appearances at the Cigar Club and Fast Eddie’s, and eventually meet up with Susana. Well… that was until I called the Cigar Club and found that cover for the night was $25. TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS. In San Antonio. Yeah, we weren’t down, especially considering my bank confusion. So we settled on seeing Two Tons of Steel at Floore’s and I am so happy that we did. We all had a BLAST. Katie and I shared Dave as our dancing partner (apparently, I cannot follow). The roads were fairly clear as we left and drove back to Katie’s, and it was an all-around good night.

Today, my mom and I are going shopping for my Christmas, which is awesome. I really, really need some work clothes, so I’m hoping to get that squared away today. Tonight is my dinner at Chilli’s with all of my San Antonio/San Marcos friends, and I’m über excited about that!

Tomorrow, I plan on heading on home sometime mid-morning, and doing some laundry and whatnot before returning to work on Wednesday. I’m looking forward to my life being a bit back on track, let me tell you. Scheduling is NOT a bad thing! I am just so thankful for the year of learning and sanctification that 2006 has been. I’m looking forward to what 2007 brings!