ReSOLUTIONS

How cool is this?!

The Roof is on Fiah.

Last night, I found a book called A Patient’s Guide to PCOS and I’ve been reading it most of the day. It’s a very interesting look at this syndrome that has plagued my life for so many years, and even more interesting (read: exciting)– a look at how to control it! The book provides detailed diets and caloric intake goals, as well as ideas as to how to effectively introduce exercise into your life.

As I scanned the book last night at Barnes & Noble, I was shocked by a chapter that discusses the psychological and emotional impact of the syndrome. I honestly have just thought myself lazy and… well, bad. While I fully recognize that there are spiritual implications to my situation and lack of will-power, it was nice to find that there is hope.

Is it weird that I didn’t really realize that before? I’m not typically a “hopeless” person, but I guess I’ve been pretending that I was fine and had it all together. It’s ok that I don’t. At least that’s what I’m trying to convince myself.

Not too long ago, I heard a sermon in which my pastor explained that to live in community with one another doesn’t require that we have our homes in perfect order. He went on to tell us that pushing people out of our lives because our homes didn’t look “perfect” was sinful. Although I intellectually agreed with what he was saying, I don’t know that it connected.

I recalled that sermon as I listened to a fellow member of my church and friend talk about how he was struggling against an idol in his own life: expectations placed on his children that were impossible to reach. It occurred to me that I have unreasonable expectations placed on myself. I’m unable to give myself a break. I’m sure that a lot of that comes from my legalistic religious background, but maybe moreso due to the fact that I don’t believe that God is who He says He is.

I know I’ve said that before on this very blog, but I’m learning that it’s an on going struggle that obviously requires more than just my acknowledgment that the problem exists. Acknowledging that the house is on fire won’t stop it from burning up, if I don’t call the fire department.

Friends, my house is on fire.

By all medical standards, I am obese. That’s such an ugly word. Obese. Not just fat anymore. I’ve passed that threshold. I’m at a point where I’m considered at very high risk for heart disease, diabetes, and all sorts of serious health issues. It’s not that I didn’t already know that, but I never want to come off as some sort of hypochondriac. I just don’t admit it out loud very often, and therein lies the problem.

So I don’t know really what else to say about all of this except that things are bad, and I’m trying to take care of them with the help of willing friends and professionals. And I am trying hard to fight the desire to hide these things from my community. I don’t expect you to be the water for my fire… but I’d love to have help in carrying the buckets.

Begin Again (Poor old Michael Finnigan)

May I please direct your attention, once again, to an old, familiar place? Please stop by and visit my Marathoning blog, Destination:Marathon when you get a chance. We’re going to try again. Add it to your blogroll, and keep up with it, if you’re a glutton for punishment. I added a new entry tonight which explains it all.

Sundry

Ok, just a few things I want to get jotted down before I’m too busy to remember them.

• Tomorrow is an important day for me. Please pray for a clear head and articulate tongue.
• I’m driving to Odessa after an industry bowling tournament all day on Friday. Holly’s getting married, and I’m the maid of honor.
• Next week, I’ll try and finish the “People I Love” series.
• I start the Fall semester on Monday!

Here’s something incredible that Suz said today:

I’m starting to think that schools should stop wasting money on sex ed — give the kids a couple classes that say, “Abstinence is the only way to be 100% sure to stop STDs and pregnancy. AIDS is still a very bad disease. There are other STDs that can cause cancer. And even more STDs that never go away. So talk to your doctor before you start having sex, wait wait wait wait wait to have it, and if you don’t wait, ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM.” And then they should spend the rest of the health classes learning about nutrition and exercise and how to cook healthy meals.

Tidbits

• I’m chaperoning a youth lake trip this weekend.  We leave tomorrow morning, and I’m beginning to get a little nervous about it.  We’re going to have the lives of eight to ten children in our hands.  At a lake.  Lord help us.
• I started college last Monday, and it’s going really, really well!  My government prof has yet to keep us for the entirety of the allotted time, but the time we do spend there is packed with good stuff.
• I’m picking back up with my health routine next week.  I have an appointment with Dr. Robin on Tuesday evening.  I’m not quite sure what it will look like, but it’s time to get down to business.
• I’m still waiting on Blogathon to get organized this year.  I’m hoping to have my donation site up and going in the next couple of weeks.  It’s a bit frustrating to have to wait this long…
• I chopped my hair off.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I sent 11.5 inches of hair to Locks of Love on Monday, and the end result is this:

Canvas Bags = Excellent Grocery Bags = Happy Landfills

While I was in San Antonio last weekend, I mentioned my desire to begin using canvas shopping bags rather than plastic, and I asked her to keep an eye out for some less than the $10 I’d pay at Whole Foods.  The conversation was short, and took place on Thursday at some point.  Then, as we wandered through HEB in search of yummy ice cream on Friday evening, we came across very large (about twice as big as your typical canvas book bag) canvas bags for sale– particularly for the purpose of carrying groceries.  I was skeptical when buying them, as they weren’t marked with a price, but when we scanned one, I was excited to find that they were less than $4!  So, I loaded up with about five of them.
Tonight was the first time I’d had the occasion to use one of my bags.  I wandered into my Walmart Neighborhood Market with one in hand.  I gathered some bathroom  items, some bread, the veggies needed to make Avocado Salad for my Sunday School social on Saturday, and other sundry items.

In your typical plastic grocery bags, I’d have walked out with about four or five bags, and struggling to keep my hand from falling off for lack of blood flow.  Tonight, I did not completely fill up one of my bags, and it was amazingly easy to carry.  It honestly felt lighter than my purse. It is usually quite the chore to to drag my grocery bags up my stairs and into my place.  Tonight, it was no sweat… literally.

I am sold.

Nasty.

I’m a little weird when it comes to food. I cannot stand for my food to touch, and I finish each serving before moving on to another (for example, I eat all of my green beans and then move on to mashed potatoes), beginning with what I’m least sure of in terms of desire. It is for this reason that KFC’s new “Famous Bowls” are my worst food nightmare. I meana COME ON. How digusting can you be? Why would you EVER mix chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, and cheese together? UGH!

Lunch time!

Craig, Christine, & Ste-en are going to kill me.

Don’t Make Fun of Fat People

It’s just ugly.  And hurtful.  And not at all encouraging (despite what some idiots think- “Maybe if I ridicule them enough, they’ll be motivated to do something about it…”).

And as the old button reads, “So what if I’m fat?  You’re ugly.  I can lose weight.”

More on ‘Defiling Our Bodies’

Common Ground Online picked up on something Christine wrote a while back.